A Little Orgasm now and again

Since the birth of her last child, my friend Judith has not been in a serious relationship. “ Too much stress,” she declared, “all I want is a little orgasm now and again.” I smiled when she told me that, I felt her. Many of us try to avoid the entanglement and often emotional pain involved in close intimate relationships so we settle for the satisfaction of no-strings-attached sex, hoping to be provided with a ‘little orgasm now and again’.

I am no different from many women, I have had my issues with relationships, sex, and orgasms with my share of hang-ups and misconceptions. And to make matters worse, living in a society where a woman dares not openly explore her sexuality for fear of being called from a Squeng to a Jaggerbat, and the many other names in between, I kept my counsel, trying to be a ‘good person’ by doing the marriage thing, the family thing and the monogamy thing but sex and a little orgasm now and again has always been important to me.
Part of the process of seeking ways to connect to my Inner Being and the Divine, I came across the practice of meditation. For a time, I followed a guided meditative practice conducted by my favourite Buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahm and on one particular day, as part of his dharma talk, he spoke about ‘meditation being better than sex’. This piqued my interest since I had never found any other similar experience that offered the ecstasy and physical release that a ‘little orgasm’ did.

I admit, I did not believe him until it happened to me but remember it like yesterday. I was in meditation when I started feeling a familiar stirring somewhere deep inside my mind. I knew that I wasn’t having sex but I was experiencing the physical emotions of an orgasm. It went on for what felt like minutes. I rode wave after wave of ecstatic bliss that did not peak and crash as regular orgasms do, but rose and then gently subsided. You can bet that I did not complete the session that day, I was so awe-struck.

I would not advise anyone to engage in a meditative practice solely to have an “an orgasm better than sex” experience because it will never happen, no matter how hard one tries. We ought to enter our practice with no expectations except to commune with our Higher Self and Source Energy.

When phenomenal things happen as part of our practice, then it is phenomenal, when nothing, as determined by our ego-mind happens, it is still phenomenal.

But it’s really better than sex, really.