April 8th, 2021
As humans, we all want to achieve and be successful. We want to gain that nod of approval from our parents, our peers, our bosses, our society. We yearn to hear the 'well done' - two words that many of us crave like a sugar high. So with that as the goal, we go through life looking for the big one, the big whatever our dreams led us to reach for, and in doing so and being only oriented towards hitting the jackpot, we miss the little teapots along our way.
I have missed many teapots myself and would have continued doing so if I did not realize that the greatest joys we can have, our most cherished moments were in the journey and not the destination.
Let me tell you my story:
I have had a curiosity about a property that was located on the outskirts of my small village for as long as I can remember. There was something about it. It drew me. It was a small white house, nestled under a hill. It was landscaped with fruit trees and large mahogany trees. The front fence line had a casuarina hedge that hid the house so that you had to position your head just so to have a clear view of it. I saw my name in lights across the front fascia board. It was to be mine.
Over time, as life happened to me, I soon forgot this dream and would only remember the little house whenever I happened to walk or drive by the location until, during a meditation session, an image of that house, the same house that I had dreamed about 40-plus years ago came fresh into my mind. Luckily I was at the point of my spiritual awakening where I knew it meant something and was worth pursuing. Some investigations led me to find out that my dream house was for sale.
I had neither the money nor the credit to purchase it but that did not stop me from envisioning myself as its proud owner. I would daydream about it and have pleasant thoughts, I would daydream about it and have anxious moments - suppose someone buys it before I can, suppose I am never able to acquire it? Where would that amount of money come from? I would never make it by the meager efforts of my 9–5…..
I supposed myself into states of depression until I decided to stop. The Universe had heard my request; I was to believe that it was done.
The funny thing is that even though I let it go, it did not release me and little things started happening. Little teapots.
I met a real estate agent that firmly believes in the law of attraction, teapot. I got the opportunity to tour the property, teapot. I was able to vividly imagine myself in the kitchen and bedroom, painting on the balcony and doing yoga in the room I had already designated my quiet space, teapot. I knew an architect who would do a wonderful job in renovating this house, teapot. I got a discounted price from an appraiser, teapot.
I had all these small exhilarating moments that would have been lost if I had only continued looking at the end game.
My simple message is to look for the teapots, they may even come as little teacups but enjoy the journey to your manifestation knowing that the Universe has your back, your desires have been registered and the Forces are working on their realization.
March 17th, 2021
“Do yourself the favour and get out of the way, you are slowing down progress to your ultimate success.”
This was the sage piece of advice that came to me during one of my daily moments of connecting with The One Consciousness in quiet meditation. The first time I heard it I was taken aback, who said that and what were they saying? This guidance was totally contrary to what I was taught to be true – work hard to be successful, by the sweat of my brow I was to eat bread, there is no reward without supreme effort and sacrifice….those were the words I expected to hear, not get out of the way! So like the all-knowing human that I was, I ignored good counsel and continued doing what I was doing, using the definition of madness as my mantra until I heard it again. Okay, this time I paused, perhaps there was something for me to examine here. Why the same message again? So like the smart-arse human I was, I decided to cut a deal, I will give up halfway, I will get one foot out of the way and watch to see what would happen. Of course, nothing much changed, at least not in the time frame that I had set to see obvious results, so I put my other foot back on the path and continued where I left off- going nowhere at high speed.
I think I was lucky to hear the message the third time, ‘get out of the way’. This time I stopped completed, coming to the realization that perhaps this was serious business and I ought to get out of the way before I was shoved out of the way. My mind went back to the beginning and the painful experiences that triggered my spiritual journey. I got the nudges to wake up but refused to take heed and the end result was a series of shock waves and happenstances that upended my life as I knew it, I had no intention of being the proud recipient of that treatment again.
I stopped and asked, “Are you talking to me?” There was a resounding chorus of yeses from universal forces. And so, like the only-learn-the-hard-way human I was, I made the decision to move aside, to get out of my own way so that success and happiness can truly be mine.
My story is not unique. I know you have experienced something similar. You have heard the voice, you have seen evidence of your efforting but like the human you are, like the humans we all are, we want to do it our way, and all we end up doing it achieving one royal fuck up.
When universal forces ask us to get out of the way, we get out of the way. Our job is done when we ask for it, when we actively visualize the becoming of it, and finally when we believe it is done. Once these steps are completed, we move aside and let the Universe deliver our requests to us.
Let us begin to unlearn all these false beliefs that we are the author and finisher of our fate. When we connect with source energy, tap into our intuition and follow instructions, we gain success at a rate that our human selves could not have dreamt to achieve on its own. The ones who achieve lasting success in their lifetime, those people that we look at with awe and envy, they did not do the human thing, they got out of the way on the first call.
March 14th, 2021
Meditation is an activity that more of us are getting into. Whatever the reasons for our seeking out this practice is of little consequence, the most important thing is that we found it, started and we are well on our way to nowhere.
Meditation allows me to sit in the now, to connect with the greater part of who I am, and to be present. It asks me to put aside all of my troubles from yesterday and my fears of tomorrow and just sit.
I saw the look pass across your face, one of chagrin and a bit of pain because you have been doing this meditation thing for a while now and as far as you are concerned, it is not working. Your definition of 'not working' is the constant presence of thoughts - good thoughts and bad thoughts that pass by just because you have a thinking mind. On more than one occasion, you check out of the twenty minutes you had set for yourself because you were unable to relax, you were unable to still your thoughts, you did not connect to anything outside of your head. You failed. Frustration mounted. You are seriously thinking of putting aside this meditation thing.
Before you do, I would like to encourage you to try one other trick. I use the work trick because over time I learned that I needed a way to 'outsmart' the thinking mind, not that I was trying to stop it from doing what it does because I cannot, but that I was using that same thinking mind to work for me.
Here is what I do: Once I have settled into a nice comfortable position - (comfort is key, you can never relax as long as the physical body is not experiencing ease), I relax from head to the toe with my eyes closed, allowing my breathing to settle down into a smooth, clean rhythm, and then I begin to notice my thoughts as they come rushing in. They were patiently waiting for this moment. Now that they had me all to themselves, they intended to hijack those same twenty minutes I had set aside to meditate.
Thoughts of the chores I have to complete.
Thoughts of my children and how they are doing.
Thoughts of another day being unemployed.
Thoughts of my mother-in-law coming by for dinner that evening.
Thoughts of the state of our planet.
Thoughts of not meditating because I was having thoughts.
Empty random thoughts that attempt to unsettle the calm I was trying to broker…….
And now the trick: when each thought comes, I show gratitude for it;
I am grateful for a strong, sprightly body that can still perform my chores without pain.
Thankful for having children that love and respect themselves.
Happy that even though I am unemployed, my Maslow's pyramid is still quite full.
Pleasantly indebted to my mother-in-law for creating my marvelous spouse.
Appreciative that our planet is still supporting me, and awaiting my return to enjoy its beauty.
Pleased that I have thoughts, that my brain is functioning and my mind is still active.
And before I know it, that feeling of gratitude builds and courses through me, raising my vibration and separating my energy body from my physical body, and I am transported into the welcoming embrace of the One Consciousness. Here, thoughts are of no consequence, thoughts are not even noticed and it was not that they disappeared but that I had traveled to nowhere.
January 17th, 2021
Despite the saying that words cannot begin to adequately describe many of our human emotions, there is one thing that words provide - comfort. There is a strange reassurance, a cathartic release when words are put to paper in an attempt to describe a feeling, be it love, hate, pain, despair, anger, loss, grief, happiness, or bliss. It is as if the words become wings and allow the emotions bubbling up inside, whatever they might be, positive or negative, to be released. Words provide the loud whooshing sounds that come about when a solid attempt is made to articulate the emotion.
For me, I have been struggling with that emotion called love, or what I think is love. We say we are in love when we feel happy with a person when being with that special someone makes us feel part of a whole when there is comfort and familiarity and some seeming level of reciprocation, great or small. We chalk it up to love. We sing we smile, we dance, we write about it. It is reflected in the sparkle in our eyes, the bounce in our step, the glow on our faces. We say it's love.
I do not know what I did to love, but love has been running away from me for as long as I can remember. I recall the first boy I was in love with, he was a shy one, even though I remain convinced that he had some feelings for me, he just took to the streets and went running. And this started the trend in my life, loves come, or so it appears, it hangs around a while and then runs away. It took a while before it dawned on me that love was not running but that I was chasing it away.
Many of us chase love away and then complain that we cannot find it. We despair that it did not come packaged just so. There was no big bow, it was not even gaily wrapped in festive paper. It came in a wet paper bag. It came tired and despondent, it came broken and torn, it came for help and for healing. We stare in disdain and declare that we did not sign up for that job. We are in the market for something flashier, richer, something that looked good and smelled good.
So we let go of the best thing that could have happened to us. We did not allow ourselves to see past the wrapping and notice the gem laying inside, warm, glowing, welcoming, giving, and loving.
And as time slowly passes, we are left sitting on the sidewalk of life, watching love running away from us while we shout behind it, "Where are you going? Come back with my happiness…."
January 6th, 2021
I am mending a broken heart. Again. It has been broken three times by the same person. The band-aid from the second shatter was hardly off when it got broken again. You look at me in consternation and asked, “Why?” I have no answer. I am a fool for love and a fool when I am in love, making me twice the fool with experiences to share. Take notes.
1. Being a fool in love is beautiful
Being in love is one of the most beautiful human experiences that one can have. It provides for a connection that feels so viscerally real that we get lost in the emotion. We are happier. We feel good and we look the part. The sky is bluer, the birds sing sweeter and the air smells fresher. We feel whole and complete, part of the great universe when we are with this person. We see our being forever into forever. We can climb mountains together and travel to dark valleys as one. We are conquerors, lovers, friends. We are fools in love.
2. Being a fool in love hurts
Wait, what happened, why does the sky appear a little dull, did that bird’s song sound a bit off-key, what is that dank smell in the air? We are in the fall of love. We fell into it and now we are falling out. The ride was a beautiful, rough tumble that now has us puking all over ourselves from an upset stomach, a broken heart, our eyes so filled with tears that they can water the Gobi Desert. We cannot believe the us, the beautiful us, the forever us, been wiped away as if it never was. We are experiencing the low that followed the high. We were fools in love.
3. Being a fool in love is foolish but do it again.
Great pain allows for great joy. It is a basic law of nature, the ying-yang of our existence. How can we know love when we never knew hate, joy when we never experienced pain, bliss when there was no despair?
So when I experience the low blows of a love lost, when I run to the medicine cabinet for plasters for my broken heart, I do so knowing that I was brave enough to be foolish, human enough to love, and foolish enough to do it all over again.
December 8th, 2020
Some time ago I asked one of my spirit guides about weight loss…..Okay, Stick a pin! You are asking, “spirit what?” For ease of understanding, you have my permission to replace ‘spirit guides’ with ‘subconscious mind’ or ‘intuition’ or any other word that makes you comfortable but the end result is the same.
So, let’s proceed with my tale.
She...ehem…is female and I am female so you know our conversations will eventually get around to body weight and men. My guide, Corinne is a herbalist and I met her over a year ago when she came to me in a dream. Have you met any of your guides or have you taken the time to connect with your subconscious mind, your intuition, that knowing part of you? If not, why not? You are missing out on one of the most powerful ways to get in contact with Source Energy.
Corinne is always dressed in long white cotton shifts and she has a strong, slim, lithe body shape and one evening during my meditation, I asked her what can I do to lose the 10 pounds of Corona pumpkin bread that have been hanging around my midsection. She did not answer right away. They almost never do, well unless they chose to.
Very early the next morning something woke me from my sleep. It was a voice, yet not a voice but I knew it was her. She told me to add lemon juice to my morning water (I usually drink about 4 glasses before my cup of herbal tea) and that I should add a sprig of rosemary to my herbal brew. I bolt right up out of bed. I had rosemary from my herb garden and a few lemons that Miss Gen Z (you have met her before) was threatening to turn into some lemonade. I followed my guide’s instructions and two weeks later, I slipped into an old work skirt that I had hidden in the back of my closet because it no longer fit me.
My experience may not be your experience. What I refer to as my spirit guide, you might call science or prior knowledge, what I chalk up to divine intervention, you may just accept as pure luck but it matters not. Those of us who believe are not here to convince you. We come to relate, to share, and to encourage a connection to the greater part of who we are.
But I promise you, the day you decide to tap in, your life will never be the same.
December 2nd, 2020
I am planning a BBQ Throw Down at Esoteric Gardens. The intention is to invite family and persons in my community to enjoy some good food and conversation. We plan to develop by then, a signature sauce and a flatbread that would reflect the essence of what we are trying to do — ‘healing people with food’. The condiments will be made from fresh herbs and spices grown right there in the garden and we are hoping that with every taste of the BBQ, persons will experience the energy healing vibrations of food.
One of the first things I plan to do is to produce a giant placard and put it next to the gate. On it, I would have lettered four simple words, ‘Lay Your Burdens Down’. I would be asking persons to do just that.
We allow ourselves to be too burdened by life’s problems. We take on our troubles, those of our children, our friends, and our neighbours, thinking that we can carry them all. All we end up doing is bearing a lot of pain and suffering, much of which is not our own. So when I ask persons to lay their burdens down, I wonder how many would comply? How many would look at the words and actually unpin their stresses and leave the bundle at the gate? I will assure them that they can pick them back up afterward if they chose to or leave them to be scooped up by Divine Forces and carried away like unwanted trash.
It is amazing the relief that would come about for that moment in time. It is the same sense of release felt during meditation where we concentrate on the now, leaving our past smouldering somewhere in the past and our future where it ought to be, in the future. Where I come from, our culture does not allow for persons to sit and meditate for a few minutes each day but I am betting on them understanding the phrase “Lay Your Burdens Down”. So I intend to start there, with something that is easy to wrap one’s head around. Their open invitation would be to place all burdens at the gate and accept the true healing that lies within.
Where do you go to lay down your burdens? What is your practice? How do you connect with the greater part of who you are?
If you do not, I invite you to find yourself a place. Create an imaginary boundary if you have to, and vow to yourself that every time you walk through the gate of your safe zone, you intend to lay your burdens at the entrance.
Do this as often as you can and I guarantee you that one day you will leave your quiet space, walk right past, forgetting to pick them back up.
December 1st, 2020
The life of the creative can sometimes be difficult, like swinging on a pendulum, one time up, another time down, and even other times flat on the ground because the chain broke. There are occasions when ideas come like mosquitoes at dusk and others there is such a drought that questions start forming in the mind, “Why am I doing this? What is the objective of my writing, painting, drawing, sculpting, creating music? Where is this taking me? When will I see success, if ever?” And with the four W’s covered, we move onto another letter in the alphabet.
It is not easy being a creative person nor is it easy hiding one’s creativity for fear of whatever, rejection, failure, or even success. Many of us get so caught up in the highs and lows of what we do and share that when rejection comes, when failure comes, when the success does not come as quickly as we expect it, we get morose, sometimes even depressed and these feelings take us through that downward spiral of despair.
I say go with the flow in a detached way. When something good happens, it’s good, when something less than desirable happens, it’s still good. It is easier to say than to achieve, I know, I have been there. When I first writing my stories, they barely got a second glance. I posted a new piece every day and the only reads I got were those from my friends to whom I had sent a link. I reached a point where I wondered how much longer would I be able to continue speaking from my heart into the void. Then I got an inspiring thought from Ms. Gen Z, I am convinced that my spirit guides speak through her quite often.
If you do not know who Ms. Gen Z is, then please read about her here.
She said to me, “Mother….(I know that tone. Whenever she starts with Mother, I know she is parenting mode) why are you worried about today? You are creating a legacy. What you do and share now will be available forever, long after you die, people 100 years from now will still be able to search the internet and find your work.”
That bit of advice was like a massive push for me and I went up, up, and away and my pendulum is still traveling upwards with no thought of its downward swing.
I would like the words of this Gen Z to be words for us to live by. For creatives out there, struggling to feel relevant now, to be heard now, to be successful now, I say keep on creating, keep on letting what is inside of you come out, keep on sharing your talent, no your tale, with the world, it will be there forever and ever into eternity.
December 1st, 2020
I am unapologetically Caribbean. I was born and raised in the West Indies and still live here to this day. Quick geography lesson, the Caribbean proper is that land space, mostly comprised of relatively small islands, running from The Bahamas in the north, tucked just below the Florida Keys, to Suriname, part of the South American continent, in the south. This region is famous, among other things for sun, rum, and reggae music.
Talking about music, I am blessed to be living during a time when several musical legends became world-famous for their craft. There is, of course, the late great Robert Nester Marley of the ’70s and ’80s and then the modern-day musical Cinderella in the name of Robyn Rihanna Fenty. They were successful in putting the music and culture of the Caribbean center stage and on who’s shoulders young, (or not so young), up-and-coming fellow gifted Caribbean Islanders can stand. For a region minuscule in landmass and even tinier in population when compared to countries like India and the USA, we have brought blessings upon blessings upon blessings to countless souls through our music, our talents, and our creativity.
I did not intend for this post to be an Ode to the Caribbean and by now I would have expected have already seg-wayed into an inspirational or spiritual message. But be it as it may, I say Cheers to my country and to my region. We have long since Come in from the Cold.
So today, as I sit at my laptop, trying to make this message universal, trying to share some tidbit of knowledge or inspiration, I am flummoxed — there is nothing inside me but a strong pride for my region and for my people, a gratefulness to have been born in this time and space, and security in the knowledge that Every Little Thing is Gonna be Alright.
November 27th, 2020
I recently had a conversation with my Gen Z daughter. She is both a source of inspiration and consternation to me and I have written many stories about our chats, our strong debates, and our quiet moments. Today a conversation on happiness ensued. Welcome to our world:
Me, while putting together a large green vegetable salad in our tiny kitchen: "I am so happy, I don’t know why but I am feeling happy. This is the happiest I have been in the last few years."
Gen Z, on the couch, gorging on some Netflix-and-single chilling: "Really?"
Me: "Yes…..For no reason that I can put my finger on… The last time I remember feeling like this was when I used to work in my plant nursery, puttering around all day, with the sun on my skin and my hands deep in the soil."
Gen Z: "Oh really, so what about….O never mind for we will begin a huge debate and I am busy doing something."
Me, pushing the envelope, perhaps wanting to come out of my happiness bubble: "What were you going to say?"
Gen Z, sighing and turning towards me: "I was going to ask if you did not feel happy when you gave birth to me?"
Me, sighing louder than Gen Z: "That was different. Of course, I was happy. I was ecstatic. I looked at your tiny face, your 12 fingers, and 10 toes and felt blessed beyond measure."
(Yes she was born with 12 fingers, I was born with 11; we both still have the scars from the removal of the extras.)
Me, continuing: "The happiness I am referring to now is one that did not come from some grand event like your birth. I was not referring to the times when we are happy because something great happened in our lives, like a graduation, first job, first house, first car, first wedding…..I am talking about a happiness, the cause of which cannot really be determined. It starts somewhere deep in the belly and bubbles upwards and outwards, touching on all the parts of our physical and energy bodies, creating an unexplained sense of well-being……"
Gen Z, cutting me off, she had already detected my mounting that infamous soapbox: "Ok, Ok, Mother… I hear you…. I understand. I hope that one day I can find a sourceless source of happiness like yours."
I left the salad making and went to give her a quick hug. She eye-rolled me, turned away, and went back to her show, I went back to my cooking. The feeling stayed with me the entire day. I felt blessed and abundant. I was grateful. This type of happiness is the kind that money cannot buy nor can anyone steal from us. It stems from being satisfied in the now, grateful for our blessings, accepting of our trials, and giving thanks in it all.