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I usually meditate before I begin writing. It gives me an opportunity to connect to my spirit guides and get messages that turn into pieces of work that I can then share with my reading audience. If you have read these first two lines and went, “what the mother…”, let me put it in another less esoteric form: I sit quietly and tap into my creative side for ideas to write as a blog post.

So back to the story.
I have just started writing on Medium and been reading the works of fellow writers, most of whom I have been impressed by to the point of being quite intimidated. This led me to ask myself if I was sure that I am supposed to be in this space.

Having reached the point where I have gotten a few followers, this has now begun to colour my thoughts, influencing the topics I am wanting to write about. I found myself asking new questions that I never asked before. “Would this be a good topic? Do you think this would be understood? Is this too far out there? Would persons resonate with my talking about growing up on a tiny Caribbean island? Should I use the headline analyzer app? What about your spelling, should I not write ‘neighbor’ instead of ‘neighbour’? Who cares about your spiritual awakening, nobody wants to be preached at.” I even began my meditation with half-formed ideas of what would be a good piece to interest my medium readers. Fortunately, my spirit guides have been indulging me. They understood that being in a new space, I was as excited as a puppy that they have been allowing me some free rein in what I formulate, write, and share.

Well, not this morning.

I got side-eyed by Elijah. He is the one who usually passes ideas to me. I knew what that look meant. It was telling me that I was straying from my purpose. My writing was not about me but about my sharing the experience of spirituality and spirituality awakening. Follower or no follower, fan, or no fan, even if a fan turns into an air conditioner, I had a job to do.
I humbly took heed. I was guilty as charged. Having read so many pieces by other medium writers, I saw all of the well-curated images (I did not even know what was Unsplash) that went with their articles. I saw the catchy headlines and play on words. I saw the quotes from great minds, dead and alive. I saw how they sometimes used these sage words to support an idea or probably to increase the length of a piece. It all seemed to be working for them, so why not give it a try? I was just about to start searching google for some as well and that was when I got the eye!

So I remain the humble scribe, the chastised child, with the clear knowing that there will be those who would understand what I say, those who would be merely curious about what I write about, and those who would benefit from the experiences I share.

I have been charged to continue in my authenticity, writing the messages as given to me, baring my soul, exposing my weaknesses, and sharing my joys and my pain as I try to reach as many as possible.



If you find what I write about is of interest to you, please consider following me on Medium @trudiepalmer. I upload new stories every day.

I grew up in a time and space where singers like Gregory Isaacs and Bob Marley rules the airwaves.
I can never hear one of their songs without going back to my childhood, growing up poor in an economically depressed community (so called by the sociologists), each parent looking at their child and praying for a way out for them.

So this one morning, when I heard Jamaican superstar, Gregory Isaac’s “I don’t wanna be lonely tonight” blasting from the speakers of a passing car, I was thrown back to that time in my life.

My upbringing was poor but I had a vivid imagination and I loved books. They were my solace and kept me from many lonely nights and days. Those days were bittersweet. The bitterness was from the feeling of lack that everyone seemed to embody. For many families, there was never enough to go around. If you had school shoes, perhaps you did not have a school bag. If there was meat in your food, there was nothing to drink. The sweetness came from the pure simplicity of life.

My mother and stepfather ensured that my brother and I never went hungry. We had a garden and raised sheep or chickens or rabbits. There was food. There were clothes, at least a couple of dresses and pants and there was shelter. What else was there to want, really?

This was growing up in the ’70s and ‘80s on a small Caribbean Island.

Sometimes we get the opportunity to go full circle. We grow up and get the chance to look at the lives we are living and we realize it still has remained bittersweet.
The bitter coming from the low-grade feeling of unhappiness that pervades even though we have all the material possession we want, the sweet from a deep-seated knowledge that we don’t have to be lonely tonight or any other night.

We have ourselves, our inner being, our angels, guides, and ancestors. We have Source Energy. We have life, and hope and our dreams.

What else is there to want, really?

I am going to throw the popular adage of life and lemons on its head by encouraging us to suck on those lemons instead of making lemonade.
Life is life and life would not be lived if we did not get tossed a few lemons now and again. Sometimes we get them quite infrequently, other times it feels like we are standing in the middle of a citrus orchard, being bombarded from left to right with one problem or the other.

How quickly can we make lemonade, really? When tossed the lemon, we need a knife, a squeezer, sugar, water, and a pitcher to hold it in, plus some essence and Angostura Bitters, if you, like me would be making it Caribbean style.

There are times when we need to just sit and suck on them. Take the juice and pulp into our mouths, pucker at the sour taste and swallow. We know the role that vitamin C plays in keeping our cells healthy.

“Lemons are high in vitamin C, folate, potassium, flavonoids and compounds called limonins,” said Alissa Rumsey, a New York City-based registered dietitian, certified strength and conditioning specialist and spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.”
(Source Livescience.com)

So we get all of that without the added sugar!
How can we translate this into building spiritual immunity? We look at lemons as the vicissitudes of life, the problems big and small that come our way. We get to decide how we deal with these problems.
Do we rant and rave about how unfair life is?
Do we run around helplessly looking for solutions in all the wrong places?
Do we curse the gods and die?

Or do we decide this time to suck on those lemons?

We face the pain, the trauma, the upheavals and dig deep and connect to the Source within us that is always there, ready to comfort and to reassure us that things are always working out for us even when it absolutely does not appear to be the case.

When we suck on those lemons we boost our spiritual immunity. Pain makes us connect, makes us realize that there is something greater than us.
Sometimes it leads to our spiritual awakening, other times it stimulates us to do more and be more, without the added sugar.

I did not understand the meaning of a single clap by a reader of one of my Medium posts until I actually got my first one. It felt good. No, it felt great. It was tremendous! I whatsapped my friend, The Advisor, (I have spoken about her before), and said, “I got my first clap.” She sent back a few more via our Whatsapp chat but those did not really count so much. ( smile)

I think it was the mere fact that validation came from someone I did not know from Adam. I never thought I needed this boost until I actually got it.

I do not write eye-catching articles like ‘How to make a million dollars in 6 months” or “How to increase your following 1000x in 2 weeks”.

I write stories that can be quite esoteric, taking you a bit for a walk on what some may consider ‘the strange side’.

I write about spirituality, and meditation, and universal forces, and the law of attraction, and spirit guides, and ancestors, and death, and no death and speaking with persons who have died, and life in the 3-D, and God or Jah-Jah or however you have named him or her or it, and about our being gods ourselves.

I write about childhood trauma, and pain, and love, (well not so much about love) and gratitude, and the becoming of things, and the ego-self, and astrology, and nature and the earth, and overcoming fear, and sex, and orgasms.

I write about stuff that some can relate to and others not so much.

So when I get that single clap from the reader, or a thumbs up or a like, I am grateful. Grateful that someone understood what I wrote, that they were able to resonate with my words. That they felt me. That they were blessed, encouraged, or empowered.

A single clap is a loaded weapon of inspiration.


If you find what I write about is of interest to you, please follow me and clap only when you feel like it.

Sometimes I think the Universe treats us like Job. If you do not know, let me give you the tea on Job. He was a man in the bible who was being tested by God and was met with many trials and tribulations over an extended period of time to the point that one day his friends and family told him, “why don’t you curse God and die?” Job refused and for that God blessed several times over. I am not religious but I grew up in a Christian Society hence my knowledge of Job’s drama.

Many of us go through life being Jobs. Outside of being tested every single day in one form or the other by some other human or the other, we are tested by the Universe to see how well we stack up when put to stand on the Gratitude-O-Meter.

We are all manifestors. Some of us do it unconsciously when we ask for things through our hopes, wishes, and desires, and others of us directly use the Universal Law of Attraction to bring things towards us. The Universe always listens and responds and sometimes it does it in so subtle a way that if we do not catch it, we will miss it.

Let me tell you my story in a few sentences. I have been asking Source Energy for four basic things:
1. A better paying job.
2. A nicer home.
3. The opportunity to share my talent with a wide audience.
4. Someone to share it all with.

I mean, looking at these requests, they are nothing out of the ordinary, quite modest as a matter of fact and so, being one an active manifestor, I went about it in a methodical way. I meditated. I did the shadow work. I raised my vibrations. I showed gratitude and I followed the trail of synchronicities whenever they appeared.

And soon it was not long before (well perhaps, in my 3-D timing it was a bit long) I started to see smaller versions of the things I was asking for appearing in my life. I was happy. But being the human that I am, as soon as it started working, I began to feel the fear that I might get stuck in the small things and never realize my wilder dreams. I was in a conundrum. “Suppose I showed too much pleasure in the little things, would it stop the big things? Would the Universe think that ‘oh, she is happy and satisfied, let’s move on to the next person’? Would I miss out on fulfilling my grander desires?”

I went back to step one. I meditated and asked for clarity. And I got it by realizing that I was to continue being happy in the little things, continue showing contentment and gratitude, continue helping and serving people, continue raising my vibration and being positive and the big things will come.

And so, this is what I have been doing, I did a Job. I decided not to curse the Universe and die. Instead, I offered praise and showed gratitude and now I am living my best life.

What is your Gratitude-O-Meter saying?
How is the Universe responding to your dreams, wishes, and desires?
Is it only giving you a hint and a taste of what is in store for you or even better, have you already arrived at the big things? Congratulations!

If you are like me, in the stage of becoming, join our support group.
Let us continue to encourage each other.
Let us be thankful and grateful each day for the little things.
Let us continue looking to the horizon for the big things.
Let us be like Job.

And I assure you that soon, very soon, things will get bigly.

Our body has an amazing ability to heal itself. There is this power capable of effecting healing on the physical, energetic, and ethereal levels if only we are willing to open up to its existence.

My physical body is not what it used to be, as with many of us. Age does a number on it but since it was not meant to last forever, the natural senescence process, like leaves in the autumn, results in a slow return of the physical body to its earth elements. For many people, this comes with a fear stemming from a lack of understanding of the process. We did not come here to stay. We are to grow old and die if we are lucky. We have to prepare mentally and emotionally for this transition and sweeping the thought of it under the proverbial rug does nothing for neither our peace of mind nor our ability to get the best out of this instrument as we can.

Somewhere deep inside of all of us lies our healing source, some call it the subconscious mind, some call it the intuition or the inner self. However named, it is the powerhouse that runs our system.

It knows everything that there is to know about us, about things concerning us, and about things around us. It stores the memories of our past lives. It is a databank of information that we can tap into for health and healing among other things. It contains the template of our physical body. It knows everything about us down the last DNA strand and is capable of repairing and renewing those parts that get hurt while being tossed about in this physical plane.

So why then do so many of us not turn to our own internal healing mechanism?
Why do we not look inside first before we start chasing something on the outside?
Who knows you best, who knows your mind, body, and soul best?

We live in Excusatopia so we have answers, err….. excuses as to why we swallow that pill before we ask for healing, why we refuse to trust the power that lies within us, why we listen to The Man before we listen to our bodies.

I am not saying not to seek medical help when we feel that we need it.
I am not saying forsake all forms of medicine.
I am not saying not to listen to the advice from persons taught in those fix-it institutions.

All I am saying is that we ask within first. We touch base within on a regular basis. We listen to the still voice that guides us right every time. And we follow its instructions.

It may say take this herb, it may say rest a while, it may say change your diet, it may say reduce stresses in your life, it may say go see The Man.

But be rest assured that when our intuition, our subconscious, that still voice speaks, it does it from a place of full knowing, always with our best interest at heart.

Moon, Jupiter, and Saturn formed a triangle in the night sky some weeks ago and that was more than enough reason to get excited. I mean, the planet of abundance, meeting with the planet that has the title of the taskmaster of the zodiac, both tagged the planet of emotions and our intuition. If we have been doing to work that Saturn demands to clear past karma and create good karma then it the bounty that Jupiter always brings.

So that evening, when I saw for myself what the astronomers were talking about, I felt the power and the promise since I have been doing the work to pay off past karma. It has not been easy but knowing that Saturn always rewards hard work, kept me going.

So when the maker of the law and the enforcer of the law meet for a conversation, what will they talk about regarding you?

Have you been doing the inner work and the outer work since inner is naturally followed by outer?

Will Jupiter say bless her, give him what he deserves?

Or would Saturn have to pass a message on to Moon saying, ‘go tell her she has more tasks to perform?’

How did the triangle formed way up in the sky work out for you?

Have you ever injured a body part and during the healing process you injure it again? So you ended up opening up a sore spot that might have just been on the verge of becoming whole again? This happened to me recently. The body part was my heart. I got my heart broken and before it was fully recovered, the narcissist broke it again.
Sometimes as much as we try to resist falling for a person, the heart wants what it wants, does what it wants, and then leaves us with the emotional pain and turmoil when things go south.

I was never adept at the love thing and I have written about it many times before. My heart missed the lesson on how to sustain romantic love. So when the realization was that this type of love is a big deal, and not having developed the skills needed to maneuver in such a space, it struggled, trying to adapt to the proclivities of love affairs and not doing a good job if it.

What about you? Are you one of those lucky persons who have long mastered the art of love? And you are able to sustain your romantic love relationship for years, keeping it happy and healthy? Well pray, send a note to this heart of mine, it needs some lessons.

Or are you like me, where the love thing has been an uphill battle, where your heart rules your head and gets you in a shit-load of trouble every time? You fall in love in the blink of an eye, believing that this time, this is the one, your twin flame, your soulmate, your gift from the gods, and you get all wrapped up in the emotion of it until you end up broken, lost and alone when, as they say, the fickle finger of fate points your way?

Knowing is half the battle won! We are aware of our strengths and conscious of our weaknesses which allows us to do the work, to prepare, and to be ready when the heart decides to do its thing. I am not saying shut love out. I would never say that. We need love to survive and to thrive, to be fulfilled as humans in this 3-D plane. And so we would have learned by having gone through the process of doing the ‘me’ thing, self-love, self-value, putting me so high on a pedestal that when the heart decides to do its shit all over again and get itself hurt in the process, the me, the you, the I, the part of self that is connected to Source Energy holds steady and strong, wrapping us in a cocoon of protection that prevents injury to our emotional and energy bodies.

So dear heart, do what you do, go break yourself all over again.

This time we will be ready.

A lot has been happening for me. I think a lot has been happening for all of us.

There seems to be a rapid acceleration towards something big and many of us are not sure what it is so during times like these when the energy is as it is, it helps to practise meditation with a spirit of gratitude.
Go deep and find the stillness under all the rubble of an active mind and an overactive imagination and breathe.

I have been trying to manifest some big things. They have been a while in coming and this has sent my patience muscles into overdrive. But now, like the 155 mph winds of Atlantic season hurricanes, they are rushing towards me and now I am feeling overwhelmed. I laughingly told myself just a few days ago to be careful what you ask the Universe for because you will get it, and you will get it in abundance.

That is why we have to be aware of what we attach our thoughts to. When we think that jewels are going to rain down on us, they will and when we think that empty piss pots will be part of our next thunderstorm, they will.

I invite you to begin your practice in a spirit of gratitude. Meditation itself quells the storms in our lives and gratitude opens us up for even more blessings.

I guarantee that it’s a better deal than any green eggs and ham combo.

There are some persons who suffer terribly from FOMO. They always want to ensure that they are in the know and on the cutting edge of the latest of everything. They are looking for something, perhaps validation, perhaps true knowing, or perhaps just some excitement in their lives. So the new train ride is on the spirituality tram. I am not saying that persons are not awakening to a greater consciousness since I am a testament to the searching and finding and wanting to know more but what I find interesting is the need of some to call themselves enlightened. They may be lit up, since meditation does give you a glow but enlightened, that is mere ego talking.

One of the things that serious meditation does is to endow the meditator with some psychic abilities. Things start happening for which there is no 3-D explanation. A person may become claircognizant, clairaudient, or some other clair and after the initial shock of the discovery, Ego steps up to the plate and the talk of enlightenment begins to echo inside their heads.
I believe that there are enlightened beings on this planet but we may never know because they do not consider themselves enlightened. There is no need to say anything when there is nothing to be said. They consider what has happened to them as being freely available to any seeker. According to a popular phrase that people use on my island, “nutten a kip here” which means nothing special is happening.

So for the folks that who may have gotten one or two flashes of insight and beheld the kingdom of the Universe, I say congratulations. I say relax. There is still a long way to go.

Keep on seeking.
Keep on transcending the Ego-mind.
Keep on believing.
Keep on being guided by Universal Forces.
Keep on communing with the Divine.

And when enlightenment comes, it would be like ‘nutten a kip here’.