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“….but do you know how much I did for her?” That phrase sends the speaker down a slippery slope of pain and disappointment. Expectations. That one belief we often have that, unfortunately, colours many relationships blue.
Why do we set ourselves up for disillusionment by having expectations of people?
I recall one of my high school teachers refer to it as ‘reciprocal altruism’ – I do for you and you do for me thus allowing the earth to continue spinning on its axis. But when the hand that was to wash the other hand opts out of laundry day, we are utterly dismayed, devastated even and so we shout out in a voice laced with regret and agony, “… but do you know how much I did for him?”
The advice to ourselves is to do, give without expectation and no harm will be caused. It may be quite difficult to accomplish since we often judge others by our own standards but it’s worth practicing for our long term peace of mind and wellbeing.
